[ENG] My Family, December 25th

26 Dec, 2025

The holidays are over.

Christmas has just passed, and I’m writing these lines more to make sense of things than to tell anything particularly new. My family is a mess in more than a few ways. We’re not good at affection, not good at socializing, not good at saying things out loud. We’re all kind of a disaster.

The only day we all sit at the same table, actually talking to each other, is Christmas. And sometimes that weighs on me, because it feels fake, forced, as if we only remember we’re a family because the calendar tells us so. And yet, at the same time, I’m fine with it.

Every Christmas is a strange kind of ritual, made of people I know by heart and who, despite everything, still make me feel at home.

There’s my grandfather Giovanni, who complains every two minutes about some new ache and says every year it might be his last Christmas. It never is. One day it will be, and maybe then I’ll tell him he was right.

There’s my grandmother Cesira, who eats everything without ever stopping, but really only waits for tiramisu. Two portions, always. She loves it like it’s the last certainty left.

There’s my brother Federico and his girlfriend of the moment. Over the years they’ve changed many times, but somehow they all feel the same to me: strange, particular. He swears, insults our grandparents, and mocks everyone. That’s how he shows affection.

There’s Massimiliano, who has an incredible talent: eating fast and disappearing. He wants to be alone, in his own space. Sometimes he smiles, briefly, but he’s always very critical, maybe too much.

There’s Andrea, who’s always late but gives the best gifts. Really, no one comes close. And his girlfriend, who doesn’t talk much, is almost always standing, and seems to hate sitting down. At least that’s what everyone says.

There’s my aunt, who tells incredible stories, says she knows everything and has seen the world. I don’t know how true that is. There’s Silvia. I don’t know her. She scares me. I’d rather not elaborate.

Then there are my parents. My mom is anxious, wants everything to be clean, jokes around, and teases my grandparents. My dad cooks, cleans up, clears the table. He’s available, present, quietly essential.

This year Chiara was there too. Our first Christmas together in this house, the second since we’ve been together. I’m happy she saw this family of lunatics. In a way, it felt like introducing her to a very real part of me.

As for the rest, I’m on vacation now. I’ll work a few days and then stop again, and that makes me surprisingly happy.

But the real reason this Christmas will stick with me is something else: on January 24th, I’m leaving for Japan. Tickets booked. Everything confirmed. I think. It’s a Christmas I’m already looking at from a distance, because I know I’ll soon be somewhere else.

I didn’t really feel the Christmas atmosphere this year. Few lights, few streets, no snow, no cold. Maybe I didn’t go out much. Maybe my head was already somewhere else.

Still, the family felt a bit more willing this year. Maybe because we all know it could really be my grandfather’s last Christmas.

In the end, this is life. If it had to be the last one, we did it the way we know how: a little crooked, a little loud, a little real.

We’ll see each other again next year. In reality, we see each other almost every day; we basically all live together. But at Christmas, for a few hours, we pretend it’s special. And maybe that’s okay.

Just a quick reminder at the bottom of the page there’s a little button with two arrows pointing up.
If you click it, you’ll be doing me a huge favor <3

Thanks again, everyone 🫶🏻

#holidays #life #things